We got into a nasty pattern of arguing and splitting up every weekend or so. Always him, not wanting a relationship, or my son not liking him, or me not being strict enough with the kids.
It happened again on Friday. Ended with me trying once to hit him and him leaving at 1.30 am with his kids - drunk - and driving home.
I'm mortified by my behaviour, shocked by his and don't know what to do. Have I stuffed up again and chosen another bad man, or is he a goodie but out of control right now? I am not calling or emailing or visiting, and neither is he. There is no way forward that I can see right now and yet our kids are friends and his adore me. Looks like mine was right and he is not to be trusted after all. Too much smacking.
I want to get in touch but it's always bloody me so I am trying not to.
I want a relationship, not a pretence where he is always looking for a way out. Is fine in the week when we're sober mind. He gets v stressed around the 3 kids.